IN THE NAME OF SPORTS, IT’S TIME TO EAT OURSELVES TO A CELLULITE-D IMMOBILE PULP
Right, let’s face it. Who are we kidding? The only thing sporty about me is that I could, maybe, jump over a puddle if my life depends on it. But that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t want someone like me at the party this Sunday – while the gang rouse up above a borderline-patriotic roar towards the flatscreen, beers blazing and testosterone bursting – who sinks into the couch giggling at her phone whilst watching French bulldog puppies on youtube. Why, because my friends, I’m the one who’s gonna bring the kool-Aid. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t like sports, nearly everyone watches the Super Bowl. It’s such a huge sporting event, and many people often host their own viewing parties, which is what I’m attending. I don’t have a favorite team or anything, but it’s still fun to go to these Super Bowl parties. Some of my friends take this sporting event extremely seriously though. They usually use sports betting Indiana apps to place their bets on which team they think is most likely to win. By doing this, they could win some money. So many people place bets on these big events, so it’s important to bet whilst the odds are still good. Whilst some of us will be betting, others will just be watching the game and having fun at the party. That’s what I’ll be doing, and I’ll be bringing some food.
So let’s hit it. For God and country, in the name of sports, and beefcakes clashing and tight muscles fluttering in slow motion… let’s eat ourselves to a cellulite-d immobile pulp and call it the spirit. Man… gotta love this day.
Here’s the game-plan.
First, what’s a football party without some sliders? These 2:1 sliders with charred green chili mayo, with patties that are 2 parts meat and 1 part cheese, browning and melting all over the place, is the one that you’re looking for.
But if you’re catering to some big boys, this BUTTERED beef patty burger (yes, like as in, stuffed with butter) with simply caramelized onions and mustard, will be the gourmet solution for true burger lovers.
What’s better than tacos? Duh~ fried tacos! Tostadas my friends, with “quick mole-d” ground beef (seasoned with purred chilis, spices and unsweetened cocoa powder!), white beans and cabbage slaw and topped with a fried quail egg. Tabasco sauce, limes, game set.
Then I know, can’t end the game without desserts can we? Listen to this, 3 minutes, THREE MINUTES super quick dough, will serve you with these chewy, irresistible mochi donuts in a timeless vanilla glaze. These players will run out faster then your most lightening tailbacks. I suggest you eat them before serving.
So happy Super-bowling guys. Remember. Stretchy pants. Stretchy pants, people. Till then~
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