IN THE NAME OF SPORTS, IT’S TIME TO EAT OURSELVES TO A CELLULITE-D IMMOBILE PULP
Right, let’s face it. Who are we kidding? The only thing sporty about me is that I could, maybe, jump over a puddle if my life depends on it. But that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t want someone like me at the party this sunday – while the gang rouse up above a borderline-patriotic roar towards the flatscreen, beers blazing and testosterone bursting – who sinks into the couch giggling at her phone for French bulldog puppies on youtube. Why, because my friends, I’m the one who’s gonna bring the kool-Aid.
So let’s hit it. For God and country, in the name of sports, and beefcakes clashing and tight muscles fluttering in slow motion… let’s eat ourselves to a cellulite-d immobile pulp and call it the spirit. Man… gotta love this day.
Here’s the game-plan.
First, what’s a football party without some sliders? These 2:1 sliders with charred green chili mayo, with patties that are 2 parts meat and 1 part cheese, browning and melting all over the place, is the one that you’re looking for.
But if you’re catering to some big boys, this BUTTERED beef patty burger (yes, like as in, stuffed with butter) with simply caramelized onions and mustard, will be the gourmet solution for true burger lovers.
Wait you say subtlety is not your thing? Thought you’d never ask. Here’s Mexican fresh chorizo and garlic shrimp burger, with paprika mayo… melted manchego cheese and sweet, sweet potato buns. You’re welcome.
Oh and of course, wings. Real wings that will make a party fly. Well these Chong-qing chili hot wings with cumin spice-mix and sichuan peppercorns, will not only make you fly, but set you on an eternal hot-air-balloon that’s gonna pierce through the atmosphere.
What’s better than tacos? Duh~ fried tacos! Tostadas my friends, with “quick mole-d” ground beef (seasoned with purred chilis, spices and unsweetened cocoa powder!), white beans and cabbage slaw and topped with a fried quail egg. Tabasco sauce, limes, game set.
Or this fully loaded baguette with overflowing amount of Italian sausage tomato sauce and fresh, stringy mozzarella. Which I call, the soup-wich.
Then when the game gets intense, when you seriously need all your eyes on that big kicking-and-flying olive on the screen, is when some handy finger-snacks come. This potato chips and fresh mint/cilantro salad with fish sauce and lime dressing, might distract you with surprises. So maybe some dainty, crispy and porky shrimp toasts quarter-backed with cured pork fat, that might give you more focus to say later… holly shit what was that I just ate?
Then I know, can’t end the game without desserts can we? Listen to this, 3 minutes, THREE MINUTES super quick dough, will serve you with these chewy, irresistible mochi donuts in a timeless vanilla glaze. These players will run out faster then your most lightening tailbacks. I suggest you eat them before serving.
So happy Super-bowling guys. Remember. Stretchy pants. Stretchy pants, people. Till then~
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