pie crust Tag

Failproof flakey pastry stuffed with mochi and chocolate

Listen, I’ve made this flakey pastry about four times now.  And each time, no matter how every single signs along the way was pointing towards an inevitable heartbreaking disaster, somehow, miraculously, it always turned out amazing.  I’ve stuffed them with jam and cheese, with fruits and nuts, and this time, with bittersweet chocolate blended together with dark brown sugar and peanut butter plus a good chewy padding of sticky rice mochi on the bottom, and still I couldn’t manage to fuck it up.  More crispy and shards-like than puff pastry, but more defined and layered than pie crust, comes together fast and relatively easy, and goes down even more so.

So, as someone with a very unlucky track record in the baking arena, I pass this recipe onto you.  I’d say good luck, but something tells me you won’t need very much of it.

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MOLLY YEH’S WEDDING PIE

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CONGRATULATIONS, MOLLY.

YEH!

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“your pie”

lyrics adapted from bernie taupin

it’s a little bit lovely, this filling inside
i’m not one of those who can take just one slice
i don’t have much money eggboy, but what I will do…
I’d move to this Dakota farm house, just for you

if i was a domestic goddess… but then again, no
or a woman who makes potions on a food-network show
i know it’s not much but it’s the best i can do
my gift is my pies and this one’s for you

and you can tell everybody this is your pie
it may be quite simple but now that it’s done
i hope you don’t mind
i hope you don’t mind that i put down in slices
how wonderful life is now you’re in my world

~

hair smelled like hummus and feet white in flours
i made many messes the day you… made me one promise
the snow will be falling when i make this pie
and i’ll too be in white on my sweet twenty-five

so excuse me forgetting, but these things i do
you see i’ve forgotten if they’re… one cup or two?
anyway the thing is you’re what i choose
a sweet oh quiet farm boy… the day i saw you

and you can tell everybody this is your pie
it may be quite simple but wait till you try
i hope you don’t mind
i hope you don’t mind that i put down in slices
how wonderful life is now you’re in my world

~

i hope you don’t mind
i hope you don’t mind that i put down in piiiieees~
how wonderful life is…
now i’m in your world

for molly
the closest thing to sunshine a stranger can be

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APPLE PERSIMMON PIES

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Season-transitioning flu… they just love me so.  A tender… suffocating love.  So listen here’s what I can do. With my energy level slightly above a wheezing squirrel, I’m gonna save any effort on an elaborate sales pitch with delicious stories for you to try this.  This being – fry your damn pies and do it this way.  I’m not gonna go there…  Instead, I’m just gonna give it to you straight, as in bullet point-style.  As in STONE-COLD FACTS.  Yeah.  Because we all believe in science.  Right?  So eat this because:

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the infinite kitchen sink hand pie

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Sometimes I get a little personal when I take a stroll through the expansive, razzle-dazzling and star-crusted cosmic jungle that is food-blogosphere.  I really don’t mean to compare I really don’t.  Wise man once said that… “Go… just do your own things” or something… you know but put in a MUCH more profound and scholarly terms.  But the thing is (and it’s a big thing) that I can’t help but feeling like Gimli the dwarf when self-put besides the others, whom I’d like to call the blogger-elves of the Woodland Realm (birds chirping pls) because I mean really, just REALLY, do people SERIOUSLY live like that?  Prancing with in-season-only, tree-ripen fruits and vegetables galore by the farm-stands and POOF! an effortless display of fairy-salad and angel-tarts on a oh-my-granny-just-left-me-this antique table.  Or picking WILD FLOWERS in pastel tea-dresses surrounded by rainbow and songs and THAT’S what she EATS on weekends!?  For REALZ?  I bet their body parts self-shave, too…

Yeah.  I’m jealous.

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