DO NOT MISTAKE THE LIKINGS OF LOUISIANA-STYLE CRAYFISH-BOIL TO THIS,
WHICH ONLY SHARES AS MUCH SIMILARITIES AS COFFEE HAS TO A FLAMING LAMBOURGINI
Just a small note for the weekend as you’ll need it. OK, maybe it’s not small. In fact, it’s a huge… epic… cardinally sinful and despicably addictive note that will forever change your summers, and you’ll probably regret it, hate me for it, really hate yourself for it, while being lost in a summer-long trance somewhere in between nuclear pains and unbearable pleasures.
Did you know, that Chinese loves crayfish?
Yeah, in fact, fanatical, is the more appropriate word. So much so that in Beijing, they have an entire street called Gui, a whole freaking parade lined by jam-packed and neon-lighted restaurants that dedicates almost solely to the cult of this practice. Now, do not… and I mean, do not mistake the likings of the southern Louisiana-style boil to this sichuan-style mala (numb and spicy) crayfish bloodbath, which only shares as much similarities as coffee has to a Flaming Lambourgini. Underestimate these mean little fuckers, and you’ll be punished. This is a dish that transcends the crayfishes through a condensed and ferocious red bath made by extracting every last bit of flavour molecules from a intense mixture of spice-blend, aromatics and sichuan fermented chili paste into the thick gravy of lava and glisteningly red butter. Just a couple of bug-crushing and head-sucking into the whole thing, and your every taste-buds and every sensual nerves that link to the pleasure and plain receptors in your brain, will be spanked and whiplashed ecstatically by the unbelievable amount of flavours, happiness really, trafficked to you on high speed with an ill intention. You can’t eat just one. No one can eat just one. Even when every pores on your forehead and dripping sweats is begging, howling for you to show mercy. You just can’t stop. And after the irreversible damages done, you’ll want to robotically mop up the death-gravy with any carbs lying within an arm’s length. There’s just no other ways for this to happen. So think long, and think hard, before taking the plunge.
This summer, are you ready to go down the rabbit hole?