poorman’s lobster roll

Right.  I apologize for my "rare" unprofessionalism last time.  Can we start over?  I promise I'll keep it together this time because oh boy this faux-lobster roll is too delicious to miss out on.  But it's strange to compose this post because the day I cooked it, my doggy-Armageddon-day had not been realized, and staring back on the make-funny-"when life gives you shrimp, make lobster roll"-line that I drew up then to mock my general cheap-ass style, it now seems to actually speak to me on a philosophical level