Quick Meals

In All recipes, Dairy, Meat, Quick Meals, Snacks, The Shits I Eat When By Myself

THE SHIT I EAT WHEN I’M BY MYSELF – GRILLED CURRY CHEESE, iPHONE ONLY

NOT KNOWING IF (THE SWEAT) WAS DUE TO THE HEAT OF THE KITCHEN, OR HOT-FLASHES AS EARLY SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

OK, so it’s been awhile since I last did The Shit I Eat When I’m By Myself Series, and I thought today – the day I turn 35, the day when the oestrogen has officially left the party, the day when avocado becomes a face-cream instead of food – is a good time to rekindle (it’s called letting it go). And also, because I got this lovely birthday present from you-know-who, I thought I will follow Tiffany and do a post entirely shot/edited by iPhone 6 only! Initially, I thought it would be the most liberating thing ever, not having to carry a heavy and bulky camera while dripping sweat, not knowing whether it’s due to the heat from the kitchen or hot-flashes as early signs of menopause… But actually, trying to go back and fourth VSCO Cam and Snapseed to edit photos on a phone-screen, made me feel that this is probably more of a thing for the twenty-something hipsters, than the thirty-something demographic born with severe technology-defects. So I don’t know… until now, I still can’t decide if I like working this way…

Anyhow, this is No. 5 for The Shit I Eat When I’m By Myself. Sticking to the tradition of being completely non-sense, it’s a mixture of minced beef, melted Japanese curry cubes (boosted by cocoa powder!) and shredded white cheddar that you can keep in the fridge, then when emergency hits (like the day you turn 150), it can be quickly melt into a spicy and intense grilled curry cheese in between 2 slices of crusty country loaf (balanced by an added sweetness from raspberry jam!).

So enjoy, I’ll see you on the other side.

April 19, 2015

In All recipes, Dairy, Quick Meals, updated recipe

MAGIC 15-SECONDS CREAMY SCRAMBLED EGGS

THE PREVIOUSLY-THOUGHT-IMPOSSIBLE SCRAMBLED EGGS-FANTASY
SPEED, AND CREAMINESS. ALL TOGETHER

We all think we know how to do scrambled eggs.

We all know, I hope, that speedy scrambled eggs cooked over high heat will be grainy, rubbery… and worst of all, will ooze liquid out of themselves and ruin a good morning. Thus we all know, that it’s almost only legal to cook scrambled eggs over a low-and-slow process, to get creamy or die stirring in the pursuit of that velvety wrapped-around-your-tongue texture. Right, no news there.

So for the longest time, that’s what I did. So for the past blissful decade, using my very scarcely inherited patience, I’ve abided by the rules in front of all those carefully guarded wee-flames, stirring and stirring until my mind started to wonder… on that last episode of Game of Thrones, on wait–was-that-mold-I-saw-on-my-broccoli?… on anything but asking if this was the only way to the perfect scrambled eggs.

But last week, in an attempt to feed liquid-food to my temporarily anorexic dog-son, I tried thickening an beaten egg with a bit of potato starch (or cornstarch) to make an egg-goo (which I rubbed on his mouth so he would lick it…). And who knew, that unappetizing glob… lead me to one of my greatest kitchen-revelations realized. I thought… wait a second… maybe… a thickening agent is the answer to the previously-thought-impossible scrambled eggs-fantasy. Speed, and creaminess, all together.

And it is! Just by adding a little mixture of milk and potato starch (or cornstarch), the water is forced to bind with the protein even if cooked over high heat, which solves the watery eggs disaster. But better yet, it also creates a creamy and custardy texture with the bits of beaten eggs that aren’t completely cooked through, as if, YES, that they were done slowly over ow heat! While in fact, 15 seconds!! Ahem, friends, here’s how:

February 3, 2015

111

In All recipes, Meat, Noodle/Pasta/Rice, Quick Meals, Seafood, Snacks, The Shits I Eat When By Myself

LAST SHIT – THE 3 FOUNDING DONBURI, THE ART OF EATING CANNED MEATS

(THEY CAN) TRANSFORM INTO SURPRISING DELICIOUSNESS OF ELEGANCE AND COMPLEXITY

THIS is the last post (for awhile at least) of the new week-long segment, The Shits I Eat When I’m By Myself. Jason is coming home tomorrow, and if you were any decent, none of us is ever going to speak of what happened here in the last few days… But even though we’re near the end of an epic run, I have meticulously kept the best, and I hope you agree, for the last.

I’m going to share with you what I eat, sunny or rainy, broke or stashed, then-young and now-old, then-slim and now-lumpy… by myself or not, doesn’t matter. This. This is what I actually eat, love to eat, and I mean, like all the time. This is what raised me, put me through college, and every other weekday-nights along with the lovely grin of Jon Stewart. This, completes me. I never had a name for this before, but for the sake of easy reference, I will now call it – The 3 Founding Donburi, The Art of Eating Canned Meats.

Donburi, is Japanese “rice bowl”, with various toppings that ranges widely. The integrity of well-cooked short-grain rice is, of course, important, which is a subject I won’t even touch today for it’s so not the focus here (fine, two words, rice cooker!). The focus here is the topping, and the topping, my friend, is a promiscuous playground for something that we all, at any given moment, got 1 or 2 stashed in a dark corner within the pantry.

Canned meats.

Good sardines in olive oil from Europe, bad sardines in olive oil from Europe, not-bad sardines in tomato sauce from Southeast Asia, corned beef, tuna, salmon… SPAM! Misunderstood and badly represented, where people see them as shunned practices of desperation, I see them as cherished and indulging delicacies. Good quality canned sardines (or even just the OK ones), with just a light touch of acidity, grated ginger and scallions piled over warm rice, can transform into surprising deliciousness of elegance and complexity. How can I douse sichuan chili oil over diced SPAM, with a few drops of black vinegar and calling it a thing?! Well, that is too, what doubters said at the historical moment when somebody thought why not smearing a bit of mustard over hotdogs… Then browned corned beef, mixed with chopped kimchi and gochujang, toasted sesame oil and grated garlic… will have you breathing stinky and happy.

Each of the donburi will take… 2 min to put together at the most (not including the cooking-time of the rice). Less than the time it takes to boil a pot of water. And they will have you asking yourself, where have they been all your life?

Well… they’ve been right here.

November 15, 2014

In All recipes, Noodle/Pasta/Rice, Quick Meals, Soup, The Shits I Eat When By Myself

THE SHIT I EAT WHEN BY MYSELF – ONE POT INSTANT MC-URRY W BROKEN PASTA

MY “HURRY CURRY”… GOT MC-DED.

YESTERDAY, rising above a sea of flaming red and orange, I pulled myself together and decided to eat like a real human being.

I ordered McDonald’s.

That’s the danger of leaving me alone with myself, in an obscured reality and a space where I have nobody to impress, culinarily or physically. Things… can get really low. I ordered 2 large fries and 20-pc of nuggets, all of which are items I believe to be the gooders among evil, the first being undeniably an extension of real earth-grown potatoes, and the second, … protein. So on the couch there I was, horizontally, feeling really good about myself consuming a conscious choice of – really, when you think about it – potatoes and ~~chicken~~ protein, and forgot all about WHAT shits I eat when I’m by myself? I wasn’t at all anticipating a relapse.

The downfall was that I was being too good. In an applaudable demonstration of restrain and wellness-living, I left a whole 10 pieces of nuggets untouched. I was practically Gwyneth Paltrow. But today, when I walked into the kitchen to make one of my absolute favourite of all The Shit I Eats, which is an one-pot, instant-yet-homemade Thai curry with broken thin spaghettis and something legitimate like tofu and shrimps, something unprecedentedly horrid happened.

Unprecedentedly, was the key word. I don’t. Do this. Except for this time. My “hurry curry”… got Mc-Ded.

Broken, torn pieces of what’s possibly one of the greatest invention in the history of food, thrown into another greatest invention – curry. And they married. I mean, literally. In the land of curry where it yearns nothing more than substances that can soak up all its complex glory, everything that a curry could ask for, the nuggets answered. The breading and the porous interior of the nuggets became a sponge that drank up this bowl of good brown, along with broken thin spaghetti as a hearty backdrop, this was one of the best of the worst things I could possibly do.

Just to say… people probably shouldn’t do the same. Even I. Don’t do this. Except for this time.

Shouldn’t. Was the key word.READ MORE

November 15, 2014

In All recipes, Quick Meals, Snacks, The Shits I Eat When By Myself

THE SHIT I EAT WHEN BY MYSELF – FLAMING CHEETOS + ARUGULA GRILLED CHEESE

THE ARUGULA IS NOT JUST THERE TO VALIDATE THAT I’M STILL A HUMAN BEING…

If you thought, we shared a passionate connection yesterday over orange ramen for our new segment – The Shits I Eat When I’m By Myself – well, here comes true love.

True love is… true love is… I say true love is when your other half walked in on you, with this throbbing in your mouth, said nothing, walked away and pretended like nothing happened, and didn’t cancel your credit card… Uh, what was in ~~your mouth~~ oh I mean, my mouth you asked? Uhem… even the mere pronunciation of the words, has to come with great courage… It’s sharp gouda grilled cheese. …………….. OK. OK… that’s not entirely honest. Wwwell, it’s sharp gouda grilled cheese with baby arugula, and something tangy, spicy hot and fabulously crunchy in between… What? Now you’re just prying…

Fine! FINE! It’s flaming hot crunchy cheetos! It’s FLAMING HOT CRUNCHY CHEETOS! And I fucking love this shit! Ya happy now? It’s gooey melted gouda grilled cheese, but with a crunchy and contrasting texture sandwiched right in between, releasing neon-red powers that are, possibly, the last surviving legal addiction. And didn’t you hear that there’s A-RU-GU-LA? Which is, a ve-ge-ta-ble. Which is, not just there to validate that I’m still a human being, but to elevate the entire flavour profile to please anyone, who obviously, isn’t insane.

What’s not to like? Don’t answer that…

November 12, 2014

In All recipes, Meat, Noodle/Pasta/Rice, Quick Meals, The Shits I Eat When By Myself

THE SHIT I EAT WHEN BY MYSELF – ORANGE RAMEN

IT REMINDS ME OF (HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA), MINUS THE SIDE OF CONSCIENCE THAT CAME WITH ADULTHOOD

So… I guess here we go. Day 1 of my new segment – The Shits I Eat When I’m By Myself. Listen… if you were gonna dump me after this, please do it gingerly, ok?

And really, there’s no point talking or paining an elaborate narrative for this “shit”. It’s pretty self-explanatorily wrong which, unfortunately by the same definition, also guarantees to be uber-tasty. Any form of instant ramen-noodle drenched in a bastard-sauce between something tomato-ragu-ish and cheez-whiz-ish… cannot taste bad. It reminds me of the very popular, tomato/cheese ravioli they sold at my high school cafeteria, minus the side of conscience that came with adulthood.

But what I should point out is – given that if you were gonna do the same – this is something one should only do when utterly alone. I will not be held accountable for what happens when other human beings walk in on you doing this…

November 11, 2014

In All recipes, Noodle/Pasta/Rice, Quick Meals

5 min scallion-fat noodle

WHEN I’M REALLY BUSY.
THIS IS WHAT I EAT.

September 29, 2014

In All recipes, Noodle/Pasta/Rice, Quick Meals, Vegatables

THE HOT BUNNY PASTA SAUCE

” MY CURRENT…
ORANGE STATE OF MIND “

Jason has gone to my happy place without me.

A week-long business trip to New York, by himself, is just about as much salt as you can rub on a bloody wound of someone who’s doing her time in doggy-prison. Right. Perhaps I’ve failed to mention that for the past 6 months, I haven’t been able to leave my apartment for more than 12 hours because these days, a pot of hot caramel is constantly bubbling on my stove. That’s just the code-words for my 14-years-old dog, Dumpling, with his very inconvenient heart condition that has rendered me immobile as well. So, right, no NYC for mommy, or anywhere else for that matter… But, as if squatting in my prison-cell isn’t responsible enough, now I’m being thrown into the “the cooler”…

As I am scraping these words with my finger nails onto the concrete walls of my solitary confinement, I guess it’s only appropriate to also drench myself… in gushing orange.