LAST SHIT – THE 3 FOUNDING DONBURI, THE ART OF EATING CANNED MEATS

LAST SHIT – THE 3 FOUNDING DONBURI, THE ART OF EATING CANNED MEATS

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(THEY CAN) TRANSFORM INTO SURPRISING DELICIOUSNESS OF ELEGANCE AND COMPLEXITY

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THIS is the last post (for awhile at least) of the new week-long segment, The Shits I Eat When I’m By Myself.  Jason is coming home tomorrow, and if you were any decent, none of us is ever going to speak of what happened here in the last few days…  But even though we’re near the end of an epic run, I have meticulously kept the best, and I hope you agree, for the last.

I’m going to share with you what I eat, sunny or rainy, broke or stashed, then-young and now-old, then-slim and now-lumpy… by myself or not, doesn’t matter.  This.  This is what I actually eat, love to eat, and I mean, like all the time.  This is what raised me, put me through college, and every other weekday-nights along with the lovely grin of Jon Stewart.  This, completes me.  I never had a name for this before, but for the sake of easy reference, I will now call it – The 3 Founding Donburi, The Art of Eating Canned Meats.

Donburi, is Japanese “rice bowl”, with various toppings that ranges widely.  The integrity of well-cooked short-grain rice is, of course, important, which is a subject I won’t even touch today for it’s so not the focus here (fine, two words, rice cooker!).  The focus here is the topping, and the topping, my friend, is a promiscuous playground for something that we all, at any given moment, got 1 or 2 stashed in a dark corner within the pantry.

Canned meats.

Good sardines in olive oil from Europe, bad sardines in olive oil from Europe, not-bad sardines in tomato sauce from Southeast Asia, corned beef, tuna, salmon… SPAM!  Misunderstood and badly represented, where people see them as shunned practices of desperation, I see them as cherished and indulging delicacies.  Good quality canned sardines (or even just the OK ones), with just a light touch of acidity, grated ginger and scallions piled over warm rice, can transform into surprising deliciousness of elegance and complexity.  How can I douse sichuan chili oil over diced SPAM, with a few drops of black vinegar and calling it a thing?!  Well, that is too, what doubters said at the historical moment when somebody thought why not smearing a bit of mustard over hotdogs…  Then browned corned beef, mixed with chopped kimchi and gochujang, toasted sesame oil and grated garlic… will have you breathing stinky and happy.

Each of the donburi will take… 2 min to put together at the most (not including the cooking-time of the rice).  Less than the time it takes to boil a pot of water.  And they will have you asking yourself, where have they been all your life?

Well… they’ve been right here.

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CANNED SARDINES IN OLIVE OIL DONBURI:

• 90 grams (1 small can) of good canned sardines in olive oil
• 1 1/2 tsp of Japanese rice vinegar (NOT mirin)
• 1 1/2 tsp finely diced scallions (green parts only), or chives
• 1/2 tsp grated ginger
• Flaky sea salt for sprinkling
• 1 bowl of hot steamed short-grain rice

Take the sardine out of the can and break into rough pieces.  Add 1 tsp of olive oil from the can, then add Japanese rice vinegar, gently toss to mix.  Pile the sardines over rice, then top with finely diced scallions (or chives), grated ginger, then season with flaky sea salt.  Serve immediately.

SALIVA-SPAM DONBURI:

• 1/4 cup diced SPAM
• 1 1/2 tbsp sichuan chili oil (recipe from this post)
• 1 1/2 tsp finely diced scallions (green parts only), or chives
• 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• Few drops of Asian black vinegar
• 1 bowl of hot steamed short-grain rice

It sounds stupid to just pour chili oil over SPAM and call it a thing.  But seriously, like the moment when someone thought why not smearing some mustard on hotdogs, this will open new doors to something you thought couldn’t taste better than it already did.  This an adaptation from a Sichuan classic called “saliva chicken” (boiled chicken drenched in chili oil).  Honestly, I think the SPAM works even better.  Pile the diced SPAM over rice, then add sichuan chili oil, diced scallions, freshly grated black pepper and a dash of Asian black vinegar.  Mix well and serve immediately.

CORNED BEEF (OR SARDINE IN TOMATO SAUCE), AND KIMCHI DONBURI:

• About 1/4 cup corned beef (or canned sardines in tomato sauce)
• 3 tbsp chopped kimchi
• 1/2 tsp Korean gochujang chili paste
• 1 tsp toasted sesame oil
• 1/2 clove grated garlic
• 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 1 1/2 tsp finely diced scallions (green parts only), or chives
• 1 bowl of hot steamed short-grain rice

I’ve done this either way, with corned beef or sardines in tomato sauce.  (If using canned sardines in tomato sauce, omit the browning step).  Brown the corned beef in a skillet over medium-high heat, then remove from the skillet and mix with chopped kimchi, sesame oil, orange sambal sauce, grated garlic and freshly ground black pepper.  Pile it over rice and add the finely diced scallions.  Serve immediately

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