THE SHIT I EAT WHEN BY MYSELF – ORANGE RAMEN
IT REMINDS ME OF (HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA), MINUS THE SIDE OF CONSCIENCE THAT CAME WITH ADULTHOOD
So… I guess here we go. Day 1 of my new segment – The Shits I Eat When I’m By Myself. Listen… if you were gonna dump me after this, please do it gingerly, ok?
And really, there’s no point talking or paining an elaborate narrative for this “shit”. It’s pretty self-explanatorily wrong which, unfortunately by the same definition, also guarantees to be uber-tasty. Any form of instant ramen-noodle drenched in a bastard-sauce between something tomato-ragu-ish and cheez-whiz-ish… cannot taste bad. It reminds me of the very popular, tomato/cheese ravioli they sold at my high school cafeteria, minus the side of conscience that came with adulthood.
But what I should point out is – given that if you were gonna do the same – this is something one should only do when utterly alone. I will not be held accountable for what happens when other human beings walk in on you doing this…
- 1 chunk ramen noodle
- 1 tbsp oil
- 1/4 cup ground pork, or beef
- 1 chopped garlic
- 1 1/2 tbsp tomato paste
- 1/2 tsp all-purpose flour
- 1/3 cup whole milk
- 2 tbsp store-bought salsa
- 3 slices American cheese
- Freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste
- Tabasco sauce
- Bring a pot of water to boil and cook the ramen.
- Heat 1 tbsp oil in another pot over medium-high heat, then cook the ground pork and chopped garlic ("brown" them if you're feeling fancy...). Add tomato paste and flour, and cook for another min. Add whole milk and cook until thickened, then add the store-bought salsa and American cheese. Stir in the cooked ramen until the cheese has melted. Season with black pepper and salt to taste. Add more milk if the sauce is too thick.
- Serve with a big dash of tabasco sauce.
The tomato paste is important in adding depth to the dish (if there's any...). I can never finish a whole can of tomato paste, so I always keep unfinished can in the freezer, for whenever I need it.
I've never tried using real cheddar for this. I feel like they don't melt very nicely. But you could if you want.
The instant ramen I used was a Korean brand, which I'd say was slightly bigger than typical Japanese kind. You can judge the size from the picture and adapt accordingly.
DAVIDNovember 11, 2014 at 6:22 PM
I eat something like this once a week. Hold the meat. I make mine with lots of chili oil, sesame oil, chives, egg, gochujang, American cheese, and sometimes fried cabbage!!!~ So good.
mandy@ladyandpupsNovember 11, 2014 at 6:25 PM
David: Haaahahaah that’s a Korean version! Kind of like how they put American cheese in Korean instant noodle.
DAVIDNovember 11, 2014 at 7:46 PM
Well, I do live in South Korea. Have you tried just adding a cube or two of instant curry block? Fry up some onions and garlic, maybe broccoli, then add the water, curry cube or two, then cook the noodles. Pretty good. // There are so many different kinds of “ramyeon” here. Even just a straight up cheese one…no pretense at all.
DAVIDNovember 11, 2014 at 7:54 PM
OH BOY! I just had a crazy thought. There is enough fat in the American cheese slices in your recipe, but what if…you added an egg, mixed it all together than added it to a tablespoon or two of hot fat (like bacon fat), then let it sit and get all crispy on one side, then flip it and allowed the other side to get all crispy too???! EGADS!!! Garnish with a bit of chives…maybe another hit of Tabasco?
mandy@ladyandpupsNovember 11, 2014 at 8:10 PM
David: A ramen pancake? Hahahaa brilliant! I might just try that next time!
Belinda@themoonblushbakerNovember 11, 2014 at 6:43 PM
Only you could make instant ramen look better than real meal. I have never added cheese into the mix before but my dad used to do “dinner” with it with fermented red tofu, cheese and fatty pork as the base all the time. I must get myself a packet of ramen tomorrow to try your orange ramen!
MarcellaNovember 11, 2014 at 8:21 PM
We are entirely way too alike when it comes to food! Love this post. Somehow you still manage to make orange instant ramen look good. Kudos.
KariNovember 11, 2014 at 8:34 PM
It took my college age kids to show me how to properly make ramen. I do something like this except I use bacon bits…no not real bacon but the stuff from a jar, green onions, sesame oil, garlic, and a egg. Cheese is a good idea I may have to try that.
MelindaNovember 11, 2014 at 9:14 PM
Don’t take this the wrong way because it’s absolutely a compliment. This is way nastier than I thought you’d be lol
You’re forcing me to make this recipe. Next time I’m alone of course.
molly yehNovember 11, 2014 at 10:04 PM
i’m so obsessed with this. v similar to how i eat when i’m by myself. amen to this!!!!!
sophie // the cake hunterNovember 11, 2014 at 10:05 PM
This is such an awesome segment name. I think mine would consist mostly of mug cakes, apparently that’s my go to food when I’m alone.
Amanda VuuNovember 11, 2014 at 10:24 PM
Ohmygosh..I really hope you do more posts in this series! This is amazing stuff.
Jodi@prairiekuchenNovember 11, 2014 at 10:48 PM
This picture literally made me laugh out loud
todd wagnerNovember 12, 2014 at 12:19 AM
Love this post so much!!
kimithyNovember 12, 2014 at 12:47 AM
Yayyyy! I was worried I’ve had to wait a while for the first Shit I Eat When I’m By Myself post. YES.
And I learned something about myself. Upon my first look at the recipe for this concoction, my reaction was, literally, “that is too fancy for me”. WHAT?? Apparently if it’s got more than 3 ingredients, my brain interprets it as “fancy”. This explains so much about my own Shit I Eat When I’m By Myself food…
FrancoisNovember 12, 2014 at 12:56 AM
Reminds me of a dish a friend used to make when hiking the 2,000 miles of the Appalachian trail called “bad hunter”. A meat Ramen with cheese sauce from a kraft box. Bright orange without the meat.
J.S. @ Sun Diego EatsNovember 12, 2014 at 1:44 AM
This is still impressive because it involves cooking! I unintentionally became a raw vegan when I’m alone because I just don’t want to cook anythingggg. Ok maybe not RAW raw there’s lots of peanut butter involved.
joNovember 12, 2014 at 1:58 AM
I was cracking up reading this post largely because we all have these guilty “no one must know i eat this” meals. Shared with the man and his response “yes…yes…yes.” You won him over with this one.
Jennifer @ Show Me the YummyNovember 12, 2014 at 3:40 AM
Ha! I love this new series and that look freakin’ delicious!
KristenNovember 12, 2014 at 4:19 AM
I saw this earlier today before heading out and said “omfg that looks good.” Then I arrived home STARVING and riffed on this, getting as close to the recipe as I could with the ingredients I had in the house. Deliciously orange/unique, and it saved me from eating my arm. Will eat again.
EileenNovember 12, 2014 at 4:58 AM
If I’d had access to a real kitchen when I lived in the dorm, I would absolutely have been making meals like this. (As it was, I just bought lots of salsa and ate it right out of the jar. So…yeah.)
Baby JuneNovember 12, 2014 at 5:50 AM
The shit you eat? Nah. How about the PILE OF BEAUTIFUL AMAZINGNESS you eat?
And this is easy? Yes. Going to try this. With tofu crumbles. Don’t hurt me.
Tamsin | A Certain AdventureNovember 12, 2014 at 6:10 AM
Jeez. I eat filthy noodles (sometimes with butter, sometimes with mayo, once with mozzarella) but this is somethin’ else. Inspired. x
JadeNovember 12, 2014 at 7:35 AM
Making it right now but instead of American cheese I am using cheddar, can’t tell the difference because never had American cheese; and I am using 老干妈 my one and only chill sauce to substitute Tobasco. I feel like there is already depth of sourness in the sauce and my ulcers don’t really like the idea of Tobasco.
Thanks for the amazing idea. Please do more in this series. You are saving one hungry uni kid.
yung guan yuNovember 12, 2014 at 7:37 AM
now all i need to do is find something comparable to that orange American Cheese here in Australia.
YasminNovember 12, 2014 at 8:02 AM
At which point do we put the noodles? There seems to be no mention of it on the instructions :D
mandy@ladyandpupsNovember 12, 2014 at 12:51 PM
Yasmin: At STEP 2: “Stir in the cooked ramen until the cheese has melted” :)
YasminNovember 13, 2014 at 3:36 AM
How on earth did I miss that! Thanks so much!
KarishmaNovember 12, 2014 at 9:46 AM
oh man what this sounds sooo good. but yeah, definitely going to keep this to myself haha.
J.LeeNovember 12, 2014 at 10:18 AM
This recipe is more like “the delicious shit my husband makes me cook for him at 2am” because apparently snacking after midnight is a thing in Guangdong? Or my husband is just blatantly lying to me so that I remain his kitchen slave.
But I love a food audience, too. I cook lovely, Julia-style (not Julia Stiles) cuisine every evening for children that only consider nuggets food and a husband with every take-out restaurant on speed dial. I need a new tribe of foodie friends to appreciate my talents. Sadly, when I’m alone, I eat only raw veggies and baby bels. Because- lazy. Your blog is dreamy for people like me, whatever you’re cooking.
jaime : the brinyNovember 12, 2014 at 11:08 AM
god i love this. especially the orange part.
EmilyNovember 12, 2014 at 11:32 AM
Love your crazy bastard sauce! Sometimes I stir an egg into hot, drained instant ramen and add soy sauce. The quickest meal ever.
Katrina @ Warm Vanilla SugarNovember 12, 2014 at 3:34 PM
Absolutely my fav new segment!! And this dish is something I’d totally dig into as well. Mmm mmm.
KikiNovember 12, 2014 at 8:54 PM
LOL! I love the title, good for you! So honest! xx from London
Kayiu @ Saucy SpatulaNovember 12, 2014 at 9:55 PM
RAMEN. Good for any meal of the day. That is it.
MorganNovember 12, 2014 at 10:47 PM
I love the irony with the photo that says “the SHITS I eat when I’m by myself.” like, yeahhh… I feel that. shits.
Rebecca@Figs and PigsNovember 13, 2014 at 1:33 AM
What a brilliant idea for a series, everyone has dirty food secrets! Love it.
LisaNovember 13, 2014 at 5:17 AM
I would totally trash this up even more by subbing hot dogs for the ground meat. Why not really go for it while you’re at it, right?
Rebel ShellAugust 20, 2015 at 5:08 AM
I have been so caught up in your commentary and recipes and then I hit this category and particular recipe. I’m still hiding in my own “shit I eat when by myself” closet but am inspired by yours.
AmeliaApril 4, 2016 at 12:30 PM
What a great piece! I have secretly made ramen with peanut butter and chili flakes for years! No one can ever know and I wouldn’t dream of serving it. But in the wee hours…when I’m really craving something shitty….
JoanieApril 5, 2016 at 4:33 PM
I cook chix flavored Raman noodles with 1/2 pkt of flavor seasoning by directions on package. Add teryaki sauce & some chili flakes to taste, Top with sliced hard boiled egg, chopped green onion & chopped cashews. Shredded rotisseri chicken & other add-ins can be added. nythicanbe
NancyApril 5, 2016 at 6:37 PM
We drive truck, but I am going to make this for guilty pleasure as soon as we’re home next! Gahh, sounds like two pkgs, *maniacal laughter*