IN THE NAME OF SPORTS, IT’S TIME TO EAT OURSELVES TO A CELLULITE-D IMMOBILE PULP

Right, let’s face it. Who are we kidding? The only thing sporty about me is that I could, maybe, jump over a puddle if my life depends on it. My Dad was really into sports when I was growing up, he still is. He’s constantly looking at US sportsbooks and judging what to bet on next, it’s quite interesting to watch really! But that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t want someone like me at the party this Sunday – while the gang rouse up above a borderline-patriotic roar towards the flatscreen, beers blazing and testosterone bursting – who sinks into the couch giggling at her phone whilst watching French bulldog puppies on youtube. Why, because my friends, I’m the one who’s gonna bring the kool-Aid. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t like sports, nearly everyone watches the Super Bowl. Many people get into their comfies, or even their sportswear to really get in the mood, and settle down to watch one of the biggest events of the year. My friend buys a new trackuit every year the Superbowl is on – you can click here for an array of mens tracksuits if you fancy doing the same! It’s such a huge sporting event, and many people often host their own viewing parties, which is what I’m attending. I don’t have a favorite team or anything, but it’s still fun to go to these Super Bowl parties. Some of my friends take this sporting event extremely seriously though. They usually use sports betting Indiana apps to place their bets on which team they think is most likely to win. By doing this, they could win some money. So many people place bets on these big events, so it’s important to bet whilst the odds are still good. Whilst some of us will be betting, others will just be watching the game and having fun at the party. That’s what I’ll be doing, and I’ll be bringing some food.

So let’s hit it. For God and country, in the name of sports, and beefcakes clashing and tight muscles fluttering in slow motion… let’s eat ourselves to a cellulite-d immobile pulp and call it the spirit. Man… gotta love this day.

Here’s the game-plan.

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First, what’s a football party without some sliders? These 2:1 sliders with charred green chili mayo, with patties that are 2 parts meat and 1 part cheese, browning and melting all over the place, is the one that you’re looking for.

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But if you’re catering to some big boys, this BUTTERED beef patty burger (yes, like as in, stuffed with butter) with simply caramelized onions and mustard, will be the gourmet solution for true burger lovers.

Wait you say subtlety is not your thing? Thought you’d never ask. Here’s Mexican fresh chorizo and garlic shrimp burger, with paprika mayo… melted manchego cheese and sweet, sweet potato buns. You’re welcome.

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Oh and of course, wings. Real wings that will make a party fly. Well these Chong-qing chili hot wings with cumin spice-mix and sichuan peppercorns, will not only make you fly, but set you on an eternal hot-air-balloon that’s gonna pierce through the atmosphere.

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What’s better than tacos? Duh~ fried tacos! Tostadas my friends, with “quick mole-d” ground beef (seasoned with purred chilis, spices and unsweetened cocoa powder!), white beans and cabbage slaw and topped with a fried quail egg. Tabasco sauce, limes, game set.

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Or maybe you’re more of a sandwich crowd? May I suggest these 2 enormities? The first is a Thai lemongrass meatballs sub with spicy sambal sauce and a sambal-poached egg in every 1 inch increments before touchdown.

Or this fully loaded baguette with overflowing amount of Italian sausage tomato sauce and fresh, stringy mozzarella. Which I call, the soup-wich.

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Then when the game gets intense, when you seriously need all your eyes on that big kicking-and-flying olive on the screen, is when some handy finger-snacks come. This potato chips and fresh mint/cilantro salad with fish sauce and lime dressing, might distract you with surprises. So maybe some dainty, crispy and porky shrimp toasts quarter-backed with cured pork fat, that might give you more focus to say later… holly shit what was that I just ate?

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Then I know, can’t end the game without desserts can we? Listen to this, 3 minutes, THREE MINUTES super quick dough, will serve you with these chewy, irresistible mochi donuts in a timeless vanilla glaze. These players will run out faster then your most lightening tailbacks. I suggest you eat them before serving.

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So happy Super-bowling guys. Remember. Stretchy pants. Stretchy pants, people. Till then~