THE PUNCH-IT BURGER AND HOUSTON, WE’RE READY TO TAKE OFF

[ezcol_1half] I’ve waited six years… wow, six… to say this son-of-a-bitch line. I’ve imagined saying it while beating its saggy ass with a whip rubbed with the most homicidal Mexican chilis as it wriggles in pain.  I’ve imagined saying it while twisting its balls with electrically charged clamps as it howls in my upmost amusement.  I’ve imagined saying it while watching, ever so pleasurably, as its ugliest face twisted angrily into an even uglier version of itself if that’s even grammatically possible. I’ve imagined, for six years… wow, six… to say this line with a fuck-you. And now, when the time has finally come, I can only feel it exhaling through the gaps of the keyboard, in a long heavy breath of bittersweet… We’re leaving Beijing. Can… can I say that again? We are.  Leaving.  Beijing. Yes, leave, move away, to Hong Kong if that’s important to mention, but more importantly the point is, out of Beijing.  I mentioned last week that I have “eeeewge news” to break it to you, but truth is, this is more than news.  It is a long-awaited, mental or physical, release.  Why is it such a big deal?  Well, I know, I know that the context of my predicament hasn’t been thoroughly