DOLLOPS OF SAVORY WHIPPED CREAM HELPLESSLY DESTABILIZE UNDER THE BLAZING HEAT OF THE OVEN, RENDERING INTO A PUDDLE OF SALTY, OILY, HERBY AND CREAMY MAGMA
You know, I try not to make pizzas nowadays.
Off carbs? I wish. Gluten-free? Is there any other diet more torturous by design? How about an oven that shuts down in the middle of nowhere for no reasons whatsoever? OK, yeah I have that. But, no. No, not for any of those things. In fact, the reason is a simple and straightforward one, in fact, one that deals with our most basic instinctual fear which drives, I believe, most human behaviors… the fear of dying alone.
Wait, pizza can do that? Yes, pizza can do that. How? By making me fat.