FIRE-CRUSHED CUCUMBER SALAD

[ezcol_1third] THIS IS A CONVICT YOU'LL WANT TO FORGIVE, AND EMBRACE [/ezcol_1third][ezcol_2third_end] I don't mean to sound self-absorbed and overly theatrical if I mustn't, but officers, I have a stalker. Please, listen to me before you dismiss my report after I tell you that, yes, it's a cucumber salad.  Harmless and gentle it may sound, but believe me when I say that this fella, is spicy