Author:mandy@ladyandpups

my road back to alcoholism

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I’ve got a lotta nerve coming here telling you about a cocktail. Because if you ever had the pleasure of meeting me in real life, the first couple of things you’d pick up before too late is A). you didn’t really find it a pleasure at all and, B). Uh-hum… I don’t drink. Wooh-oh wait, that’s not entirely accurate. More like, I don’t drink ANYMORE. (Gaaasspp~ AA!!) Pfffff, sorry no. I wish the story was that interesting. The thing is, I was no different than any rule-abiding youngsters out there who at the height of their kick-ass erra, drank for absolutely no apparent reason just to wake up with my neck flaccidly draping over the rim of any my toilet soiled in… well yeah (the number of shower I pulled off safely under this no-state of mind was pretty impressive in retrospect). Then at the first grasp of any level of consciousness to speak of, swore to lay off this demonic fluid for the rest of her life only to have the blur repeat itself the next Friday and, one morning… I actually did. For good.

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the ultimate buttered noodle

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It’s May.  The wild tree-sex month.  There are “organic matters” in the air carrying a vicious assault on my eyes, nose and throat, bashing my brain into a piece of stiff, over-chewed gum.  Who knew that these stationary stick-figures could get so violent and nasty in bed…?  Every year, trying to peddle through this merrymaking orgy-time with whatever strain of functionality left at the rear-end of it, is going to be the excuse I am using to explain the current inspiration-draught pillaging through my kitchen.

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justly gravy

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We can at least all agree that it sucks to live under someone else’s shadow right?  It’s a cruel life to carry if you know that you’ll forever be on the edge of someone else’s spotlight.  Does anyone aspire to be Robin who always looks comparatively ridiculous in his spandex and at least one foot shorter than Batman?  Whoever marries Prince Harry… well good luck, and frankly it makes you a loser if you are dating Harry Potter’s best friend What’s-his-name.  As personal experience goes, it’s quite depressing being my right face as my left-side always gets the photo-ops (shrugging my left shoulder).

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almond byproduct tart

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If you hoard much.  You know, unable to let go trunks of junks that’s jamming your life, and aren’t quite sure what the normal reaction is when you look down on a shampoo bottle where the shampoo is long gone (hi Jen) , or that your loved ones take great pleasure to be on a reality show as the world watches you being eaten away by your own shame.  Yeah, hoarders.  You keep everything.  It’s a disease and I’m your new BFF.  Because I let go of possessions beautifully.  I trash donate things with a clean swift cut-throat almost artful peeerfection (someone needs this cheetah-print denim more than I do).  And I extend my virtue to touch those in need around me – may or may not be with consent – by trashing donating their shit for them, too.  They’re welcome.

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almond tofu x 2

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I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen and completely blank out.  My mind is sucked dry from a trip to the veterinarian, and as my 13-year old Dumpling lays in the hospital with a tube down his throat and a three-day-hospital-stay ahead of him, the last thing I can gather my mind to gush about are these monotone desserts.  But let not the frosted land of sugary world be soiled by real-life shit that come our way, because it isn’t the desserts’ fault, no.  The  almond tofu is innocent, and we’re going to talk about them even with my mind absent.

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breakfast burger

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Taiwanese like to fancy themselves as major eaters, extraordinaires among the yumness-community.  “Taiwanese food is da bomb!  Huh-huh-hah-hee!”.  “Too spicy for who??!  Huh-huh-hah-hee (…forget it, it’s an inside joke)!!”.  But the truth is, relative to all the many other cultures surrounding us, Taiwanese cuisine is… blaaaaaaaaand…  I don’t know what it was like 40 years ago if somebody wants to make that argument, but perhaps their mentality hasn’t caught up to reality that Taiwanese have grown quietly inside their small and cozy shell over recently years… into independent health-nuts.  WAKE UP and smell the SALT guys!  It isn’t for anti-bacterializing.  It’s to season your food? so it tastes like SOMETHING?  And WHAT THE HELL are you doing to that fat on top of your noodle soup?!  It’s there for a REASON!  Called YUMMO!  I can go on and on…

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izu 伊豆

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I am chasing a mountain.  A legend.  A symbol…  The Fuji hovers like a myth behind a veil of mist and cloud.  Alive while dormant, assertive and yet faint, revealing itself then dissipating into the background as the sun runs its course.    Never have I seen a landscape as transformative as this, and never has a landscape so closely mirror the culture that inhabits it.  If you were never here, it does look like this, feel like this and taste like this.  A black pine.  A bowl.  A state of mind.  Everything.  Unmistakably Japan.  But this isn’t Tokyo. Only two hours away and arguably more, this is the Izu Peninsula.

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spring woking

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This week both me and this blog turned one-year older.  As how I count my years since the age of 25, I am now only 17 years away from menopause.  After 30, realism is the new optimism.  But forget me.  Lady and Pups is one-year old!!!  Gosh!  How did that happen and look what we’ve accomplished?  1100+ likes on Facebook!??  Practically legendary really…  187 followers on Weibo?!!  China has NEVER seen such crowds…  OH, stop it…  But the most amazing of all is the birthday gift this DARLING city was carefully hiding from me all this time, a WHOPPING BONIFIED BLUE-SKY DAY all ribboned up for me to wake up to!?!  Nothing but VISIBLE HORIZON and BREATHABLE AIR!?  Aww… Beijing, you shouldn’t have!  It is MY day but I still want you to be the intolerable filthy asshole that you are…

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